Hot 'n' Cold
by Pazel
Summary: Near thinks back on he and Mello's relationship when a song brings up memories.


Near sat on the floor, surrounded by toys. The floor was cold against his fingers that would occasionally sweep across it as he made a toy car race back and fourth in front of him. Giovanni, a man that worked with him, walked into the room with a boombox.

"Near! We've all decided you should be more like a teen!" he declared gleefully.

Everyone around Near raised their eyebrows as if to say, "when did we decide this?"

Giovanni cleared his throat, as if to quiet their silent protests. "So," he said, "you will listen to teen music!" The man turned on the music, just in time to hear the start of the next song.

_You change your mind_

_Like a girl changes clothes_

_Yeah you, PMS_

_Like a bitch_

_I would know_

_And you over think_

_Always speak_

_Crypticly_

_I should know_

_That you're no good for me_

Near was immediately drawn into the song that seemed so... familiar, some how. "Mello?" he whispered to himself. He thought back to his first love, a boy with chin-length blonde hair and an attitude that rivaled a rattle snake. The boy from Near's memories was beautiful to look at, but get too close and he'd hiss and bite you, with small, elegant fangs. His every move made it seem as if he had a secret hidden for only himself to know. He would be happy one moment, but then someone would pull the tiniest string and change his entire mood, like a puppeteer messing up a marionette play.

_Cause you're hot then you're cold_

_You're yes then you're no_

_You're in then you're out_

_You're up then you're down_

_You're wrong when it's right_

_It's black and it's white_

_We fight, we break up_

_We kiss, we make up_

_(you) You don't really want to stay, no_

_(but you) But you don't really want to go-o_

_You're hot then you're cold_

_You're yes then you're no_

_You're in and you're out_

_You're up and you're down_

He did the opposite of what he'd say. There would be a, "of course I love you, Near." but he would sneak around behind his lover's back. Not necessarily with another person, but he would do things he knew the younger boy would disapprove of, and things that he kept from him. As long as it kept Mello happy, Mello would do it. To Mello, everything he did was correct. And Near hated it that he would always take Mello back, because Near knew nothing else other than to love Mello. Sadly, Loving Near was last on Mello's to-do list and took backseat to so many petty things.

_We used to be_

_Just like twins_

_So in sync_

_The same energy_

_Now's a dead battery_

_Used to laugh bout nothing_

_Now your plain boring_

_I should know that_

_You're not gonna change_

Near supposed that Mello hadn't gotten boring as fast as he himself had. Near hadn't never been the most wild person, although Mello was. Near had known that their relationship would never last. How long could life pair up with death? They were opposites. The huddled ball of white found it would have been better if they had never met. Once long ago they had made the perfect pair. There was competition that even their feelings for each other couldn't overcome, but they were so happy together when competition wasn't an issue. Sadly, those times were few and far between.

_Cause you're hot then you're cold  
_

_You're yes then you're no_

_You're in then you're out  
_

_You're up then you're down  
_

_You're wrong when it's right  
_

_It's black and it's white  
_

_We fight, we break up  
_

_We kiss, we make up  
_

_(you) You don't really want to stay, no  
_

_(but you)But you don't really want to go-o  
_

_You're hot then you're cold  
_

_You're yes then you're no  
_

_You're in and you're out  
_

_You're up and you're down_

_Someone call the doctor_

_Got a case of a love bi-polar_

_Stuck on a roller coaster_

_Can't get off this ride_

Near took this as a metaphor for himself. He couldn't seem to let go of the thought of Mello. He often thought back to his time with Mello, the wonderful feelings he experienced, especially early on in their relationship, when Mello seemed to love him completely. Near never gave up hope that, maybe, just maybe, Mello would want a calmer life, would want to settle down with someone. But would these years apart have found Mello someone else?

_You change your mind_

_Like a girl changes clothes_

Near got up and turned the music off. "I don't want to hear any more of this trash. Understood, Giovanni?" His threat was said with a lowered voice, for Near didn't enjoy yelling. However, Giovanni knew that he meant what he said. The boom box was quickly rushed out of the building and into Giovanni's car. Near settled himself on the floor again and began building a monument of dice.

All too soon, a misplaced die made the monument fall. With it fell comrades and friends of Near, either through freak heart attacks or suicide.

Near sighed knowingly. There was no hope now.

* * *

**So, I think I'm coming to the end of my MelloxNear obsession. x3 Hope it holds out 'till I finish And A White Heart!  
**


End file.
